La Bête aka The Beast (Walerian Borowczyk, 1975)

"Beautiful France has always lived in lust"

As the opening credits roll for La Bête, you hear the sound of horses... you don't know it yet, but it's the sound of horses copulating! The first footage you see if of a horse's erect penis, followed by a horse's moist vagina... something's gonna happen.

The Duke De Balo plans it that his nephew Mathurin is to marry Lucy Broadhurst (Lovely Danish sex pot Lisbeth Hummel). In order to obtain the De Balo estate, the slightly simple Mathurin must a) be baptised, b) marry Lucy and c) be married specifically by the Duke brother, the Cardinal De Balo.

Soon enough, the beautiful Lucy arrives at the Duke's house, and during the evening before her wedding, she dreams of a beast having its vicious way with a beautiful young lady (Sirpa Lane). Is this story true? Or is it just a myth? Either way, Lucy is absolutely gagging for "it".

A poor script, poor acting, woeful audio dubbing, and a 'jizzy-wig' scene (a world first?), where the beast fucks a wig and shoots his bestial load all over it, all add to La Bête's smutty, sleazy charm.

Don't be fooled by the way La Bête is marketed... this is not art house, this is nothing more than an elaborate porno, and a farcical one at that! Imagine Benny Hill with a prosthetic penis. That is La Bête: Outrageous tripe to be watched every 5 years with family and friends.

An unofficial sequel followed. Sadly, Sirpa Lane ended up dying of AIDS.

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